"Never Stop Moving"

Since Denny died four and a half months ago, I’ve had my ups and downs. Emotionally, I’ve lived a lifetime. I’ve learned a lot, laughed a lot, cried a lot, and cooked very little. Physically, I’m weighed down with jobs I’ve never done before. There is so much to do that I’m afraid to pause. I’m overwhelmed and completely behind on everything. My memory has become terrible and my tongue feels swollen, which makes me lisp, but I can’t worry about a fat tongue. Sometimes, I wonder if I’ll ever sew or cook again, or if I’ll ever gain control of all these new responsibilities. Last week I forgot to put out the garbage, and I’ve been moping about it ever since. I make lists of things I must not forget, and then I can’t find the lists. I’m tired most of the time.

Tonight, I almost declined my fifteen-year-old granddaughter’s invitation to watch her ballet class. She was one of three students who would practice with their teacher for two hours. Two hours? Could I afford this kind of time? I needed to pay bills and balance the checkbook!

But off I went to a chilly studio to settle into a hard chair for an evening of student ballet. Little did I know that I was about to be entranced. The vivacious, young instructor was a joy to watch as she demonstrated ballet steps and chirped out never-ending instructions.

“Sue-sue, passay, eelawnjay, pleeay” is what it sounded like. I didn’t know what the lovely French sounds meant, but the dancers apparently did, as they responded to the instructions in unison. The music was contagious, and the graceful movements of the students were exciting to watch. The teacher kept up her pace, encouraging the girls with, “Never stop moving. Keep your head up, your back straight, and your hands in the ready position! You’re getting better at this, but you’re turning purple. Breathe, breathe, don’t forget to breathe!” I followed her instructions, obediently breathing deeply. It felt great! Had I forgotten how to breathe?

The students responded to the message of the music and encouragement of their teacher—and so did I! I heard, “Don’t give up! Stay with the music! Never stop moving!” I felt like dancing, too.
Then she urged, “Now rest a bit, stretch a bit, get a drink of water. How’s everybody doing? Are you ready to go again?”

“Yes, yes!” I wanted to shout! “I’ll never stop moving! I’ll stay with the music! I’m ready to go again!” I wasn’t tired anymore, and I felt good. I knew I’d be able to keep my home and life in order, and I knew I would get better at it, too. With practice I would improve—just like the other dancers.